Christ United Methodist Church
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March 24, 2020
First, a prayer request: Please keep Sandy Horner in your prayers. BJ said she was released from the hospital last night, but is still very weak. Pray she recovers her strength, and is able to heal.

And now, I thought we could all use a little humor at this point, so enjoy these little jokes...

In the foyer of a church, a young boy was looking at a plaque with the names of men and women who had died in various wars.  He asked the pastor, “Who are these people?”  The pastor said, “Those are members from our church who died in the service.”  The boy asked, “The early service or the second service?”

James, the brother of Jesus, ran into the house where his mother Mary was
sitting. “Mom, Mom!” he yelled. “I got an ‘A’ on my test!” “That’s nice, dear,” Mary said. “Did you hear that your brother was just named Savior of the World?” Ouch!

A trooper pulls over a priest and immediately smells alcohol on his breath. The next thing he notices is an empty wine bottle lying on the passenger seat. “Have you been drinking?” the officer asks. “Just water,” says the priest. “Then why do I smell wine?” The priest looks at the bottle and shouts, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

“What’s wrong, Bubba?” asked the pastor. “I need you to pray for my hearing,” said Bubba. The pastor put his hands on Bubba’s ears and prayed.
When he was done, he asked, “So how’s your hearing?” “I don’t know,” said
Bubba. “It isn’t until next Tuesday.”

A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of a road holding up a sign that reads “The end is near! Turn around now before it’s too late!” A passing driver yells, “You guys are nuts!” and speeds past them. From  around the curve, they hear screeching tires—then a big splash. The priest turns to the pastor and says, “Do you think we should just put up a sign that says, ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”

I hope all of you are well! May God bless you and keep you in His care.
Pastor Mary

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  • About Us
    • Staff
  • MINISTRIES
    • Sermons & Children's Lessons >
      • February 21, 2021
      • 2/21/21 Children's Page
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